I did something very adult this week. My biggest adult milestone and probably my last. (Only millionaires can afford mortgages.) I got my first car! Technically, I leased my first ‘compact crossover SUV’. And technically I don’t have it yet, because I wouldn’t compromise on the colour, so I am in limbo waiting for them to call and tell me when my black Kia Soul EX+ will arrive. It’s the most money I’ve ever spent on one thing (down payment) and the longest I’ve ever committed to spending money on something (36 months).
What a week it was. I started it already in, what I call, a ‘high anxiety’ time. It didn’t seem to be triggered by anything, but maybe it was because I knew I had the test drive booked for Tuesday and I was signed up to perform at an Open Mic on Monday. I went to the dealership for the test drive and I felt okay, but then the salesperson really turned on the pressure. I was trying to wrap my head around numbers that were much more than what the online payment calculator had told me, while he’s trying to negotiate and I feel stupid for not knowing anything about anything. It might have worked to my advantage, acting hesitant and saying I was expecting much lower, because he did get the price down to much closer to what I came in with, but then I’m sure it’s part of their sales tricks to always make whatever they give you sound like the lowest possible price and that they’re really doing you a big favour. I couldn’t handle the pressure; I needed some time to process, look at my budget with all the other car-related stuff like insurance, and feel like I knew what I was getting into and felt confident that I was making the right decision. He seemed really disappointed that he didn’t make the sale, but who cares about this dude's feelings when I am absolutely spinning. I went home and did my budget, talked to my mom, and felt sure about everything. Went back in Thursday to sign things. Done deal.
But now instead of big-money-decision stress, I am having car-related stress dreams and have yet another part of my life that I am waiting on someone to tell me I can go ahead and make plans. I was planning, vaguely, on another road trip for May or June, this time inviting my friend to join me, because I thought I’d have a vehicle by then. It could be “two to three months” to get my lil hearse from the factory, which would be fine if I knew exactly when, but not knowing means not being able to make plans. I’m also trying to adjust mentally to being a person with a car. Both the freedoms it gives me and the responsibilities. It’s a lot. A lot of uncertainty. I hate it. Everyone’s been like “You must be so excited!” and I’ve been like, totally spaced out like an anxiety/stress hangover, I think I’ll be excited once I actually have it. I am looking forward to having it, but combined with not knowing when it will happen, it kind of balances out to neutral.
I’m going to pimp it out to look like a hearse, so look forward to that video someday.
See you next Tuesday, drivers.
Just impatiently waiting…
Sharing is Caring: I’ve just been spaced out and rewatching New Girl, so I don’t have anything new and cool to share. I rewrote my About page, you could check that out.