I used to think that I could trace the start of my career path back to when the bakery I was working at closed. But that’s more like looking back at how something that was a terrible setback at the time actually left you open for a great opportunity; close a door, open a window kind of thing. But thinking back on my story (I was pretending I was on a podcast and they asked for my origin story, okay? Don’t judge me. You do it too.) and realized that my career pivoting moment was not the boring happenstance that I thought it was. I thought my “How did you get into film festivals?” story began with “I looked up ‘film’ on a job search website and found the job.” but thinking through it, I have a much better moment to pin-point and it wasn’t just chance, it was a bold choice.
Yes, I was just looking up anything related to “video” “film” and “media” on job search sites and found one for a film festival position. And the connection back to the bakery closing the year before is that it was a 6-month contract position only for people who were, or had recently been on, Employment Insurance (EI) and I had been on EI because the bakery closed, so I couldn’t have got my start in film festivals at the Canadian Film Institute if that idiot bakery owner hadn’t fucked up so bad that Hydro shut off the power one morning. (My time as a cake decorator at that bakery is a whole other story.) Bakery door closed, film festival window opened. However, it wasn’t a straight line from ‘saw job ad’ to ‘got job’. First I went to the Ottawa Festivals office to talk with someone about the program and all the positions available. I guess the exact one I had seen for a film festival wasn’t available anymore, so she gave me the options of either applying for some non-film festival positions that were starting right away, or I could wait a few months for the next film festival position to start and apply for that one. Now, at this point I had been unemployed for the better part of a year before finally landing a part-time retail job. I was in no position to turn down any job opportunity. This was the time, and I’m sure lots of people do this at times in their working lives, when I’d take any job interview I got and whatever they said they wanted in the interview, I said I could do it. Can you work these hours? Yes. Are you good at this? Yes. Can you do that? Not yet, but I’m a fast learner! Whatever you want, yes, just please give me a job! So, by that logic of financial desperation, I should have said yes to anything and taken the first job available. But I guess I had some sense of how important this was to my career and where I wanted to be in life because I decided to wait for the film festival opportunity. I made the bold choice to say no to the easy, quick fix and instead take the chance of waiting to apply for the job I really wanted. And, well, you can guess the story from there, I got the job, etc.
So, children, the lesson here is to not just say yes to everything that comes your way; make the choices that lead to where you want to go, even when there’s a risk involved. Or you might end up miserably working retail forever. Because my second big moment in my career was a year and a half after I’d finished my six month contract. I had spent that year and a half literally dreaming and wishing that the small non-profit would someday create a new staff position just for me (permanent positions at festivals are very rare; once you’re in, you never leave) because I loved working there so much and it felt like the right first step for the career in film that I wanted. So, I was managing a record store, making more money than I’d ever in my life, when I saw the CFI post about a new permanent, full-time staff position. *Hallelujah chorus* It was a pretty easy choice to leave retail for my dream job (dream entry-level job). I had a moment of hesitation when I saw the salary, as I’d recently come to enjoy seeing money accumulate in my bank account, but I knew I had to take this opportunity to get into this industry, and this organization in particular. My mother used to stage whisper “There’s no money in the arts!” at me when, as a teenager, I said I was going to go to film school. She was right, mostly, but there is a lot of happiness and self-fulfillment and creativity and, after a couple of years, more than enough money for me to enjoy my life.
Go forth! Make bold choices! Live your dreams!
See you next Tuesday, dreamers.
Make a rockin’ choice.
Sharing is Caring: The Planters (the film I screened at my first “The Female Gaze” screening, remember?) has an amazing original soundtrack, and it is now available to stream! Obviously, I also recommend the film, which is now available on VOD. At the very least listen to “Can’t Stand the Heat” if you enjoy dancey, 70’s, funky disco vibes. I defy you to not move to those funky beats!