Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Season’s Greetings!
You need some Christmas in your eyeballs to get in the festive mood! We have prepared for you a full menu of options to whet your appetite, feed your soul, and get you sloshed!
Appetizers
… your first taste of the holiday season
The Holiday (2006)
T: This movie takes place in the two weeks around Christmas yet straight up does not have any scene that takes place on Christmas Day. I can relate. I am all about the Christmas season (and romance!) but the actual day is nothing special for me at my parents’ house.
J: Having half of the film take place in sunny LA really helps to dial back the Christmastime vibes and ease you into the season. Plus that house is awesome. High five to automated blackout shades!
T: Also; peak mid-2000’s Imogen Heap soundtrack.
The Family Stone (2005)
J: Maybe my favourite film to get me in the holiday spirit. I LOVE THIS FAMILY. Let me be one of you! But, as much as I love them I can totally relate to the huge awkwardness of trying to fit in with a new fam.
T: I also love this family. Something about movies with big families really gets to me. You could probably psychoanalyze me and my own family issues, but it might just be that I did not have a big extended family growing up, so the dynamics are fascinating to me. The pace of movie, and the talented actors, make the inter-family relationships feel so real; the casual use of ASL, the inside jokes, the ease around each other. Yes, make me a part of this family!
J: Also, maybe the best climactic scene of any Christmas movie. I laugh and cry all at the same time. It’s really hot you guys.
T: Okay, but I’m really just here for Rachel McAdams in those glasses.
Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
J: Welcome to my decorating movie. Every year this is what I turn on while I trim that tree. It isn’t really a Christmas movie except for the last 20 minutes, but man oh man do they give you Christmas chills and thrills. I need the moment of Judy singing ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ to make my holiday right. Come for the Christmas song but stay for the whole catalogue; enjoy classic Judy hits like ‘The Trolley Song’ and ‘The Boy Next Door.’ Also, you can see how much Vincent Minnelli loved her because he shoots her so beautifully through the whole film.
Pottersville (2017)
T: I’ll throw this one in as a bit of a wild card. It’s mostly about Bigfoot. It’s a little bonkers. But this small town banding together to make it through hard times will give you a taste of those Christmas warm furries fuzzies you’re looking for.
Love Actually (2003)
T: This is a whole appetizer platter of Christmas stories; you can and should pick and choose which to consume each year.
J: We are all here for the same scene. Just watch Emma Thompson’s mastery on repeat for two hours.
T: At the very least, we are skipping the whole “Colin. God of Sex.” goes in America storyline.
The first ten minutes of Four Christmases (2008)
T: Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, despite their size difference, play the coolest couple. #Goals. They role play at a bar and then have sex in the bathroom. They plan tropical vacations for Christmas break. They take ballroom dancing lessons just for fun and give a big “Ew, no thanks” to other couples’ suggestions that they get married and have children. The rest of the movie ruins that because they become everything they say they don’t want to be by the end.
Main Course
… the reason for the season
Elf (2003)
J: I watched this one a little earlier than usual this year to be prepared for my friend's Elf themed Girls Christmas Party that always starts off the season (I had to be ready for the Elf trivia game!). But this one usually comes closer to Christmas because of Santa and all of the exuberant joy in this movie.
T: I am here for Zooey singing ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ and Will Ferrell giving the cutest ask-out speech ever.
Miracle on 34th St. (1947)
J: THE ORIGINAL! This movie always makes me believe in magic again. The joy of Christmas as a child is so pure. It’s very Santa heavy (obvs) so I watch it very close to the big day. I have a very deep sense of justice in me and I get worked up when they put Santa on trial. I makes me so mad. I also love a clever courtroom twist. NYC is a great Christmas city because it is always snowy and the decorations are soooooo pretty! A must-watch classic.
Arthur Christmas (2011)
T: One time someone asked me what my favourite Christmas movie was, I said “Arthur Christmas”, and he thought I was referring to a Christmas special of the children’s show, Arthur. Which I would probably also enjoy, but not what I meant.
J: This is one of my favourite “recent” Christmas films. Despite being animated and aimed primarily at children, it is a very solid story that can appeal to everyone. The writing is excellent and includes humour and action wrapped in super cute animation.
T: This was the first Christmas movie that I can say I love with no childhood nostalgia. I don’t watch it every year to feel like a kid again, I watch it because I genuinely love this hilarious road movie.
J: It is nice to get a Christmas movie that has a different take on classic themes of the season and isn't so “cookie cutter”.
T: And it is one of very few Santa movies that I can say I have no problems with the logic of Santa. (We did a whole podcast episode about this.) Because it is solely from the perspective of the Santa operation, there is none of this parents not believing in Santa nonsense!
Klaus (2019)
T: By far the best new Christmas movie of the last few years. It is tied, if not beating, Arthur Christmas for first place as my favourite Santa movie. The 2D-meets-3D animation is the perfect classic style for an old fashioned Christmas story. It warmed my cold heart and I have no complaints in the Santa Logic department; I can accept this Christmas magic.
J: I want to see this!
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
T: Here is the childhood nostalgia. Nostalgia on nostalgia. This movie came out when I was 10, but it also reminds me (because it literally has the same narration) of the first cartoon Grinch.
J: I have seen all the versions of The Grinch and have a fondness for them all. The classic Dr. Suess animated special reminds me of watching it with my big brother in front of the fire at home, but it is the Jim Carrey version that I really grew up with. Praise to Martha May Whovier and Christine Baransky for just being fucking impeccable.
T: Real life Whoville is just something so special; animation isn’t as magical because it isn’t REAL!
J: I saw the most recent animated version in theatres last year and you know what… It was cute! It will never be MY Grinch, but it was enjoyable to watch and there is a funny carolling scene.
Drinks
...to consume with copious amounts of alcohol
A Christmas Prince(s) (2017, 2018, 2019)
J: An excellent example of the genre. It has all the things you could expect: an actress you actually like, a made-up European country with a lot of white people, a prince who isn’t handsome enough to really be a leading man, a young child she can bond with, and a career she is really gifted at but can give up for love.
T: We haven’t had a chance to watch the third instalment yet, as it was released the day we are writing this, but I feel confident that the pattern will continue; as the quality of each sequel decreases, your consumption of alcohol must increase.
She’s clumsy! She doesn’t fit in! Can we make it any more obvious?
Hallmark, Lifetime, and Netflix Cheap Romance
T: Take a stab at any of them; they’re all the same. Easy to find someone’s drinking game rules online that will apply to any and all of this type of movie. Get angry drunk at how bad it is or get sad drunk as you wish you own life could be so romantic, but you definitely need to drink to get through them.
J: If you want the comfort of formulaic storytelling where you can guess the ending during the first scene and the knowledge that it is always true love, then sit down with one (or all) of these. I watch sooooo many every year. They make me feel all the mushy feelings, especially if I've had a few!
T: The more I drink, the more I can believe love is real.
J: Our love IS real!
T: Our love of sappy Christmas romance movies. EXCEPT! This year’s The Knight Before Christmas should be avoided. I know Vanessa’s The Princess Switch worked, but they really could not build a movie around this pun. You’ve been warned.
Dessert
…Christmas is over but you’re not ready to let go
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
J: I grew up watching this movie with my mom because it is, to this day, one of her favourites, so it gives me the warm and fuzzies. I get all mushy about friends who turn out to be so much more! And Harry and Sally have a lot of respect for each other. Sure, there is some problematic gender stereotyping that is a classic trait of comedy of the time (came out in ‘89). But it's a great watch of how a relationship can change and grow. Since the big final scene takes place on New Year’s Eve, it has become a year-end tradition for me.
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
T: Beginning and ending on New Year’s Day, this is the perfect NYE watch for fellow 30-something singletons. This year it hit me that I am but two years away from being Bridget Jones(’s age). I already get drunk and sing along to songs about being alone, so I’m basically interesting enough to have a movie about me is what I’m saying.
J: Bridget Jones reminds me that it is okay not to be perfect and have shit figured out yet. ‘Cause I DO NOT have my shit together… I do drink less than her though, so claps for me.
T: Who even has their shit together?!
