What kind of Valentine’s Day do you want to have? We got you, no matter your mood.
We know the big V-Day isn't for everyone, but this list has you covered. Single or already with your lobster, sad or joyous, or just fucking tired cause it’s Friday and work was hell this week and you just remembered it’s Valentine’s Day reading this post; you can choose from this smorgasbord of film and find the right one to fit your love day disposition.
Single this Valentine’s Day because you can’t find a man that can handle your ambition and success?
Legally Blonde (2001), Always Be My Maybe (2019), Long Shot (2019)
We love a movie in which a woman Gets. Shit. Done. But we also want a little romance for Valentine’s Day. You can watch these three movies if you don’t want to have to choose between being a boss ass bitch and a happily ever after. Because woman CAN have it all!
Need to Cry, Cry, Cry?
Titanic (1997), A Walk to Remember (2002), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Blue Valentine (2010)
Get yourself a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates and sit your cute butt down in a dark room to cry your eyes out all night long. Valentine’s Day isn’t bliss and romance for everyone and that's okay, sometimes you need the cathartic feels that come when crying over a not-so-happily ever after. Whether it's wanting to erase someone from your past, the slow and horribly painful destruction of a marriage, the ship going down, or cancer. Sometimes love really isn't enough.
Want your happily ever after with another lady?
Saving Face (2004), Imagine Me & You (2005), Black Mirror: “San Junipero” (2016), Lez Bomb (2018)
Queer women love rom-coms, too! What I’d really love is a queer romance with no coming out storyline, but I’ll take what I can get. So, the obstacle keeping our romantic leads apart isn’t warring families or getting shipped off to war or whatever situations they throw straight people into- it’s that they’re gay but one of them is married to a man (Imagine Me & You) or one has to keep their gayness secret (Saving Face) or one is actually trying really hard to come out (Lez Bomb), or one wants to just give up and die (“San Junipero”). But gay love overcomes obstacles! Gay love wins!
Recently betrayed and need to hate on men today?
Jennifer’s Body (2009), Revenge (2017), Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)
Both Jen(nifer)s are just living their best life. Jennifer (Jennifer’s Body) is a pretty, popular teenager for whom everything comes easily. Jen (Revenge) is enjoying a vacation in the middle of the desert with her rich boyfriend. Jennifer is just trying to have some fun with the boys from a band. Jen just wants to enjoy her holiday. They didn’t ask to be raped and/or murdered. But they were. So, someone’s gotta pay. Fuck rapists. Fuck stupid boys killing a girl to help their career. Fuck boyfriends who push you off a cliff. Fuck murderers. Well, don’t fuck them- fucking murder them right back. “You’re killing people.” “No, I’m killing boys.” Also, just go see Birds of Prey! It’s crazy boss bitch badass fun! Lots of men die!
Just need to get drunk with your friends?
Fifty Shades (2015), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Fifty Shades Freed (2018)
WARNING: Do not consume these movies without alcohol! Do consume with friends!
We just don’t know what about this mess of a trilogy we enjoy the most! The barely-there acting of the two main leads as they try to heat up the screen by being the two most frigid people on Earth? Watching a man have sex WITH HIS PANTS ON? That just cannot be comfortable. Neither can those metal balls he puts inside her in the second movie. Maybe the best part is screaming “WHAT A FUCKING PSYCHO!!!” at almost everything he does. But if you don’t have friends free tonight- you have us! You can get drunk, with our drinking game rules, and make fun of these movies with us by listening to our Fifty Shades of Drunk podcast episodes (1, 2, 3).
Juliana loves the Audreys!
Roman Holiday (1953)
Honestly any movie with Audrey Hepburn is an all-the-time movie, but the innocent joy and first love of Roman Holiday makes it a little more special for Valentine’s Day. Sure the innocent young girl and savvy older handsome gentleman is not new now and wasn't even a new theme then but the amount of curiosity and bliss in Hepburn’s character gives me the warm and fuzzies. The pacing of this Italian romp is excellent, especially for an older film. Bonus: You can remind yourself that this was the film introducing Audrey Hepburn to the world and what a fucking amazing performance she delivers. This is a rom-com for the ages and an all time classic, so sit back and enjoy one of the best. Seriously, do it right now!
Amélie (2001)
Want to improve your French while watching THE CUTEST love story? Then this is the pick for you. Bursting at the scenes with charm and whimsy this movie is always one to make me laugh and even shed a small tear. Plus reading subtitles keeps me awake! It isn't a deep thinker but just a pleasant journey to take. This one is bright and cheery and will perk you up whether you are single or with someone special by your side. And… I freaking adore Audrey Tautou to death. Like so much. Like seriously stop now and watch her in the film and just be enveloped by her joy. Plus this film is super stylized and beautifully shot in a way that blurs the lines between day to day reality and a more magical world. Perfect Valentine’s Day movie!
Tish loves the anticipation!
Something New (2006)
Okay, the “they hate each other then suddenly love each other” and “uptight woman and laid back man” and “they come from different backgrounds” tropes have been done. But this movie feels different. This is the movie I go to when I’m in the mood for a romance movie and honestly I don’t think I can pinpoint why… It sure ain’t for Simon Baker (he does nothing for me). It might be the B-story of Kenya’s struggles as a black woman in her law firm. It might be relating to a very particular, very stubborn woman trying to open herself up to love. It might be that intimate moment after their first night together where he gently touches her lips… Ah-hem. Um. Ya, just try this one if you like opposites-attract romances.
Already Tomorrow in Hong Kong (2015)
I love “up all night with a stranger” movies à la Before Sunrise. But Already Tomorrow is soooo much cuter than those movies! Jamie Chung and Bryan Greenburg are a real-life couple and soooo irresistible together here! Their chemistry, despite their characters both being in relationships with other people, is PALPABLE! I will not stop using exclamation points! The film is also GORGEOUS! I really don’t romanticize crowded cities, but I’ll be damned if Emily Ting (director) doesn’t make Hong Kong look heart-eyes-emoji! Watch this if you love to feel that teasing will-they-won’t-they anticipation of budding romance!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Spend your romantic (or not so romantic) evening with some of these films, or just get lost in a Wikipedia hole learning about St. Valentine (not so romantic).