We’re on our way out of the dark! The cold is still coming but that’s okay because I won’t be leaving the house; a) I work from home now, b) Ottawa Lockdown 2: COVID Boogaloo begins on the 26th (you know, AFTER everyone has disregarded Ottawa Public Health advice and spread COVID amongst their families).
I’ve been rewatching Doctor Who, which I haven’t done in many years because I’ve been doing a Doctor Who rewatch podcast, and I recently watched the A Christmas Carol-inspired episode and the narrator says why every planet has some kind of celebration this time of year is that we’re all celebrating that “we’re halfway out of the dark” which sounds very nice and glass-half-full but upon further thought- that doesn’t make sense. We’re not half way out of the dark- it’s the darkest day. This is peak darkness. Winter solstice is the darkest and summer solstice is lightest and the equinoxes are halfway between. We’re not half way out. Halfway isn’t the right word. It’s a turning point. We are now on our way out of the dark. That’s why, once upon a time, pagans or whoever were celebrating around December 25 because it took a few days to see the difference and then they celebrated the light coming back. Then Christianity just co-opted what everyone was already doing and slapped their own story on it. So let’s get metaphorical and say this is the turning point. Let’s say yesterday was the darkest day and from now on there will be more light. Light being good stuff and dark being bad stuff. Let’s say clichés like “it’s always darkest before the dawn” and “it gets worse before it gets better” and pretend it’s going to get better. Vaccines, right? Light at the end of the tunnel? Still can’t make plans because the timeline is unknown but we can start to believe it will end at some point.
I know some people are very sad about their Christmas traditions with family not happening this year. I’m not really bothered. I mean, it would be weird for me to be home alone on Christmas. But then I’d just treat it like just another day home alone. I love Christmastime but the day isn’t special since I’m not a kid looking forward to new toys. I’m an adult who buys myself whatever I want, I don’t wait for Christmas and I don’t need parents’ money to afford it. And I’m not particularly close with my parents. We keep in touch and I go to their house on long weekends to get out of the city. And these days it’s also nice to be (safely) around some people other than my one friend that I see close up IRL.
My Christmas Day is looking pretty much the same. But it’s my work break that feels different. I’ve been at home, alone, since March. Two weeks at home is not really a break from anything. In past years, I’ve been itching to get back to my office full of coworkers by the end of the two weeks. This year, the only difference is (not) clocking work hours. It just really doesn’t feel like a break. It’s just more cold, dark winter days inside my little apartment alone. Maybe I’ll stay at my parents’ house longer than usual just to be somewhere different for a while...
It’s more like walking through a tunnel and you’ve been walking towards the dark with the light behind you fading and now we’ve hit the middle where there is a little bit of light ahead, which will keep getting brighter as we go. But we gotta keep going.
Sharing is Caring: Palm Springs is great! I still have some questions, for the film, and also for myself, like how would I feel and what would I do if I was stuck in an infinite time loop? That brings my movies for this year to 130. Will I watch 20 more before Jan. 4 to reach my goal for this year? Probably not!