The Break Up with Your Bullshit challenge is over. I didn’t complete my goal but I got more out of it than just one completed story. The point wasn’t really so much about completing something by Nov. 21, it was about, as the name suggests, breaking up with bullshit excuses to not write and just start writing. The challenge was something to boost myself to start. Declaring a goal and then the encouragement and support from the group kept me going for those first two weeks. All I had to do was get started, and the act of writing kind of takes over from there. Once I got started, I started having fun and looking forward to writing.
What I have at the end of the challenge is 3200 words of a story that until recently just lived in my head and some plot points in a Google Doc, motivation to write everyday not just that story but all my ideas, and a plan for moving forward. I also have a group of people who are going through a similar process and are very generous with their kind, encouraging, supportive words. I have a custom content planner (oh you know I love a spreadsheet) to track my goals and progress that I was able to create because this challenge gave me a clearer sense of how breaking down big projects into tiny goals makes them less scary and more likely to get done. I think hearing from the rest of the group about their struggles also helped me be kinder to myself about my progress. I didn’t achieve my goal, but that doesn’t make me feel like a failure and want to just give up, like it might have in the past. I see everyone else achieving little by little their goals or their tiny steps to their goals and I feel better about also just achieving tiny steps to my first goal. You’ll never get there if you don’t take the steps, even if they’re tiny.
I have a different perspective on accountability. I’ve always avoided sharing what I’m working on, or even telling people my ideas and what I want to do because I thought that would just mean that, when I didn’t achieve or do what I said I’d do, I’d not only disappoint myself but also someone else. I already carry around a low-level of guilt over not being productive enough on all my creative projects and ideas, I’ve never wanted to add to that. (It could also be that ‘being scared of success’ thing.) But when I texted my friend about my goal for the challenge, and posted it on my Instagram, I felt like that was the first big scary step to getting anything done, and it gave me a little high to ride into getting started on my writing. It feels brave and bold to declare you’re going to do something. Like saying “Fuck you!” to whatever voice in your head or dark cloud over you that makes you think you’re a loser who never does anything. I’ll show you! And then that voice has no choice but to shut the fuck up and back off once you start writing, or whatever, because it can no longer say “You don’t do anything.” And publicly sharing (or just to trusted accountability partners) that “Fuck you!” message really backs it up.
I guess I’ll wrap this up with PROOF that I have been writing. Here’s a link to my story so far. I don’t need any criticism, it is a work in progress, but if you like it so far, you could tell me. That would be nice. My goal is to finish it by the end of the year. And continue writing tales, and also start working, one tiny step at a time, on the two books I want to write. Bonus: If you’re a planning nerd like me, here’s a template for a content planner for next year.
See you next Tuesday, not-losers.
Moira knows not to end sentences with a preposition.
Sharing is Caring: Giant by ZZ Ward is the latest addition to my grl pwr playlist. Here’s the playlist on YouTube Music (RIP Google Play Music. Your replacement is a disappointment.) if you ever need to pump yourself up.