When people say someone doesn’t know how to “take a compliment” they usually mean like that person has such low self-esteem they will deny the validity of the compliment; “No, it’s not that great.'' Or it’s a thing that a guy yells at a woman after he calls out a “compliment” at her as she walks by on the street and she doesn’t seem to appreciate his generous gift, then the bitch needs to learn to just take a compliment.
Some people might say I don’t know how to take a compliment because I don’t usually say “thanks” after someone shares their opinion of, say, my physical appearance. I usually agree with them, so I say something like “I know” or “Ya, duh” if I’m feeling sassy. (When am I not?) I just don’t see why I should thank someone for sharing their opinion of me that I didn’t directly ask for. I’d much rather share in the “Tish looks great” vibes by saying I agree.
One time a man walked past me on the sidewalk and said “You look gorgeous!” I didn’t react and kept walking so he shouted from behind me “I’m allowed to say that; I’m gay!” Um… “allowed”? Anyone’s allowed to say anything on the sidewalk. Sexual preferences don’t factor in when I hear a man’s voice say something about my appearance at me. Also, again, YA I KNOW BISH! LIKE I CARE IF YOU AGREE?!
I’ll say “thanks” if someone compliments something I worked on. Sometimes it is as simple as an outfit I put together or as much as a piece of writing I worked hard on. Then, thank you for appreciating my work. I did that. But just “I like your physical appearance” wtf I don’t need to thank you for that. What are you doing for me that I need to thank you for?
What is a compliment? It’s a statement of opinion, right? “I like your hair.” “[In my opinion,] your hair looks amazing.” Okay. If I don’t know you- I don’t care what you think. If a friend says it then I probably would say “thanks” because it’s a friend showing a friend some love and positivity. Especially between women it’s not just “I like your new haircut” it’s a whole discussion on why you cut it, how you did it yourself and did a good job, it really compliments your face, yes this is more you than your last cut, do you love it? Good, I’m glad you’re happy with your new haircut. It’s not about their opinion so much as it’s about celebrating your choice to cut your hair or wear that thing or do a good job in something and celebrating that you are happy and your friend is happy for you. So thank you, friend, for your support. Stranger- I didn’t ask for your opinion. The hubris to assume a stranger wants your opinion on their looks- I cannot imagine.
A few weeks ago, on my way to work, a man followed me off the sidewalk to tap me on the shoulder, startling me as I was listening to music, just to say “I like the hair” I quickly replied with “Okay” as I turned to continue walking into the building. YOU FOLLOWED ME OFF THE SIDEWALK AND TOUCHED ME WITHOUT CONSENT SO YOU COULD GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON MY OWN HAIR?!?! Who the fuck do you think you are, Anna Wintour? (I don’t know a famous hair person- Vidal Sassoon is a person?) To believe you would make my day or life better by doing that- WOW. Wow. (Men, amiright?)
So, basically, I don’t care about your opinion of me unless I’ve asked you for your opinion, okay?
Thank you, Moira.
Sharing is Caring: This whole Twitter thread of movie scenes with different songs is pure gold and made my day. Enjoy. (When you think the thread is over- there is more!)