I wanted to write about how I like to wear suits but I feel it is in no way related to wanting to be more masculine or my gender identity skewing masculine at all. (Because I think that’s what people might think.) But then I remembered- part of the reason I’m so into wearing suits right now is because women in suits is a thing. It’s a Cate Blanchett, Blake Lively, and other undisputedly gorgeous and feminine women thing. It’s literally no longer exclusively menswear. It’s not the 1920’s (the theme of the party I went to last week to which I wore a three piece suit complete with bow tie and fob watch); it’s not scandalous for women to wear a suit any more than it is for women to wear pants. She’s not disguising herself as a man. She’s just wearing a suit. And it’s hot.
But I think about gender a lot. Because I’m bisexual and have [attempted to] date men and women. Because I just read I’m Afraid of Men and How to Date Men When You Hate Men this weekend. Because I’m a woman-identifying person in a patriarchal society. Because I fill my social media feeds with queer comedians and writers. I think about how/why I interact socially with men and women differently. I think about how gender identity/presentation effects my attraction to each gender. I think a lot about how women are treated and portrayed in the film industry.
Sure, gender is a ~social construct~ It’s an ~illusion~ you say. Well, too bad. I wish it were, because it’s actually a very real part of how our society works and you can’t escape it because whether or not you think you treat people differently based on gender, the whole fucking world does. You gotta work to fight against the patriarchy; you can’t ignore it and live a blissful genderless life. Unless you are doing that completely removed from society in the woods; bless you for living your best life that way, most of us have to, and like to, live in ~modern society~ which comes with *shakes fist* The Patriarchy! (You’re not allowed to say “the patriarchy” without shaking your fist.)
But I’m not making a ~statement on gender expectations and the patriarchy~ by wearing a suit when I'm expected to wear a dress. I literally just think I look good in a suit! I also look hot in dresses! I’ve always worn clothes that I liked even if I knew everyone else would think is weird or eccentric or trying too hard. I wear what I want! And now that I’m so old, I’ve had plenty of time to evolve my style and settle into what I know I like, which makes shopping easier (or difficult in the summer when everything is NEON and you are strictly black and white) and makes me ~feel good~ in an “I am confident in who I am and how I am presenting myself to the world” kind of way.
So, I love wearing suits because they make me feel like an awesome sexy lady, not because I am trying to channel some powerful masculine energy. I can be sexy in a suit and bawse in a dress. Because I say so.
God damn, I need to watch this movie again and just make a shopping list based on her wardrobe. Cummerbund, gloves, pocket squares, a decorative chain…????
Sharing is Caring: K.Flay’s done it again! Listen to Sister, you cowards! Also, I highly recommend the two books mentioned above.
See you next Tuesday, in a suit.