It’s my half birthday today.
Twenty-nine and a half. I’ve been saying I’m “nearly thirty” since I turned 29 but now that I’m past the halfway point in 29 I think it’s really fair to say nearly thirty. Almost thirty. Practically in my thirties. About to be thirty. Turning thirty soon.
And does that mean anything? No. Everyday I’m just one day older than the day before.
I recently looked back at my Instagram post about being 29 and everything I did while I was 28.
I’m halfway through 29 and how am I doing on the list for 29?
Nov-Jan: two month post-break-up depression
Jan: on the radio to talk about having an often mispronounced name
Feb: another film review on the radio
Various work accomplishments
April: podcast rebranding ooh
May: two panels at ComicCon
So far it’s looking like the same as last year as far as accomplishments... working at the CFI- yay, being on the radio- yay, ComicCon- yay...
WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE
Yikes.
I do actually have ideas, goals, dreams, plans, hopes. Some more realistic than others. Some more within my control than others. Some may happen. Some may not. But having aspirations feels good. To me, depression has always been most defined by the hopelessness. Having goals to work towards and plans already in motion is the opposite; I’m full of hope. Yay, life! I’m gonna be fine. And not in the way people say when they’re definitely not fine but like actually I’ll be fine at the very least but probably actually happy and great.
Will accept half-happy half-birthday greetings here or on Twitter @tishchambers thank you
Today is also 15 years since Mean Girls came out. I was 14. 14 year old Tish thought 30 was all grown up. 14 year old Tish wrote a monthly zine full of emo poetry that she photocopied at the church and handed out to friends at school. 14 year old Tish really didn’t know what was going on with her hair but there was a lot of gel. 14 year old Tish went through a(nother) goth phase after getting really into The Craft (again). 14 year old Tish made some friends that are still her friends today. 14 year old Tish was depressed and anxious (but didn’t have the words or understanding yet) and cut herself sometimes. 14 year old Tish wanted to be a filmmaker. And famous. 14 year old Tish once, for a week, was “going out” with a jock she only talked to on MSN Messenger but never in person. 14 year old Tish almost always skipped mandatory PE because she “felt sick”. 14 year old Tish went to see Mean Girls in theatre with all the girls in school like a mandatory field trip I guess that’s cool but also weird choice for the school?
But today, I’m 29 and a half.
That’s right, I’m breaking from the Schitt’s Creek gifs. I do what I want.
See you next Tuesday, fuckers.