If it isn’t a HELL YES it’s a No.
This is the life-advice quote thing I think of most when making decisions. And I pass it on to other people when they’re being indecisive. If you’re not sure- it means you don’t really want to do it. And you don’t have time to do things you don’t REALLY want to do!
At least , I don’t have time. Life is short. I’m a busy woman. I will not be taking the time to watch a movie I’m not really into, spend time with someone that doesn’t make me feel great, work on a project that I’m not passionate about, go on a date with someone I’m not mad crushin’ on, etc etc, you get the idea.
Sure, there are things one must do to make money and survive as an adult human that we don’t love to do but this is about the things that you have a choice in. It’s your choice. If it doesn’t light you up inside- why bother? Think it’s your only option so you have to settle for this lackluster life? No way; there’s always something else, someone else, that will suit you better. Don’t get stuck in something mediocre and miss out on the real deal!
What reminded me of the quote recently was a friend telling me about a guy she thought I’d like. Ya, sure, sounds cool but give me a visual- I wasn’t into him. So, it’s a No. Could he have been a great match for me and I would have grown to be attracted to him because of a personality attraction? Ya, it can happen. But I am a busy woman; I don’t need to give everyone a chance!
Which brings me to… dating apps. Ugh. Groan. Fart noise. Everyone looks so boring! I know I’m picky. Very picky. Especially with men. But I don’t see the point in spending time talking to, or god forbid going out on a date with, someone I’m not TOTALLY STOKED about! Someone who grabs my attention, with conversation and their looks. I know meeting someone on a dating app is always going to be tricky for me now because my last relationship started on Tinder and we *sparked* immediately. We had a fun, fast-paced, conversation on Tinder right away and that turned into texting all day everyday until we could meet. I was smitten immediately; fell fast and hard. So, now, when I match with someone (rare) and start a conversation... It always seems so boring. How many times can I tell someone about my job and my life. My life isn’t boring; I’ll talk about myself all damn day but like it feels so… disingenuous? We’re just going through the motions that you do when you chat on dating apps. Same talk; different person. It never goes anywhere is what I’m saying. I found you attractive enough to talk to but now YA BORING ME. Again, I don’t have the time or energy to spend on the effort of trying to make a connection happen. Give me a *spark* or GTFO.
And we’re all on dating apps because who actually just meets people out in the real world anymore? I can’t imagine the horror of going to a bar and having some guy just come up and offer to buy me a drink. And even if you chat and like each other- you won’t find out until later that, say, he wants kids and you don’t. What a waste, right? Okay, some people like dating just to date, that’s cool. I do not enjoying dating. It’s long-term partner potential or No Thanks for me. So, dating apps can filter out some dealbreakers; I like that. But I hate that you are getting to know someone knowing exactly what type of relationship you are trying to build with them; romantic. I like the more real interaction of meeting someone, through whatever circumstances, like work or through a friend, and not knowing what your relationship with this person will be- a friend? Acquaintance? Colleague? Dating? Nemesis? Mentor? It can be fun (if it does feel like a *crush*) or just nice and easy to let a relationship develop with a new person based on your continued real life interactions, not an app that presupposes your intentions.
So, I guess I’ll keep swiping through dating apps, saying “no” to 95% of these boring people (seriously, white guys- no woman wants to see you holding a fish!) and getting bored immediately with the few that start conversations... until I find a *spark*... maybe even with a real life person. 🤞🏻
Me @ every person on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Ya, I got all three. I’m REAL lonely.
See you next Tuesday!