Okay, so this is just Thursdays with Tish now. If I even do it. Wow, I’m really falling off the wagon here at the end of the year. I think I’ve got a case of that Millennial Burnout. My job is like five jobs; I am feeling overwhelmed everyday just trying to organize and prioritize my tasks. And I’m not even doing as much as I did last year! Last year I ran this whole festival by myself, this year we’ve got a festival coordinator. And outside of work, I’ve got Christmastime plans, a podcast to keep up with (just the one, as we’ve put the Doctor Who podcast on indefinite hiatus), writing this every week, and just, like, being an adult with a home to clean and a credit card approaching its limit…
How does anyone keep up with life?! There are a million parts to it that are never ending and overlapping and getting one thing done just means there’s a million more to do today. And then tomorrow. And all those things coming up that you’re stressing about. UGH. LIFE. Usually, making lists and schedules and plans will calm me down and make me feel better about the daunting amount of to-dos, but lately, I can’t even get my mind around making any sort of list or plan. I just keep adding things to my personal to-do list on my phone, and never getting around to anything because when I get home from bouncing my brain around between so many things at work, I just want to lay on the couch and stop using my brain.
And on top of all that, stupid humans have FEELINGS! It’s hard enough to just DO things, but I also have FEELINGS in my BRAIN making me THINK about NONSENSE instead of WORK. But I’ve come up with this new thing to stop lingering on stuff I can’t do anything about. I wrote before about how I was stopping saying “someday” about stuff I want to do, like travel. Those things I absolutely can do, but was waiting for someday. But now I’m using “someday” to try to calm down about being upset about not getting what I want. Like, right now it is Christmastime. Which I love. And I am very romantic, and Christmastime stuff is very romantic and goddamnit, I want someone to be romantic with during Christmastime! But I don’t. And I can’t. I mean, it’s not something I can get if I just work hard enough for it. It’s just damn luck, finding someone you like who likes you back. So, when I find myself daydreaming about having someone to be romantic with for Christmas, I tell myself “someday”... Not this year, not this guy, but that’s okay because someday I will have someone for romantic Christmastimes. It will happen. It doesn’t have to be this year. I have PLENTY going on Christmas-wise; lots of plans with friends this year. There’s nothing I can do to make it happen, no matter how much I want it. So, I gotta just keep livin’ ma damn life, and comfort myself with someday. Someday I will have a romantic Christmastime. A friend-filled Christmastime is also great.
Okay, I dunno what this was, I’m just amazed I was able to calm down long enough to get some thoughts out. But now I should probably get back to WORK. Ugh. Life, man.
I know you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
Sharing is Caring: Here is my Christmas playlist. Enjoy.
See you next Tuesday, if by Tuesday I mean any day next week, hopefully.